Anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem and body shaming have been a consistent pattern in my life for as long as I can remember. I know why these issues exist within me and why I still struggle with them today.
I am not going to get all psychoanalytical about it and dive deep into my childhood experiences about where this all stems from. However, my belief is that all our issues are born from our childhood environment in which we learned how to survive and that determines the degree of how healthy of a functioning adult we become. Some will argue about this opinion and that's okay because that is what options are for, right?
What I have learned along the way about who I am and who I want to be in this world is quite simple; I want to be truthful. I have spent most of my life lying - lying to myself, lying to others, pretending to be somebody I am not; and so I decided it was time to stop and tell it like it is.
The truth feels really good, I am in love with it and continue to practice this way of being honest for only myself and no one else.
You see, I hid all these "issues" for years. I was ashamed to even speak the words, to express how I was feeling. I know I am not alone in this and that is why there is still a stigma around mental illness. Which has really got to stop now, it is pretty ridiculous that we can speak about every other illness on this planet that happens to humans except when it comes to illness of the mind.
Once I realized this and started looking at my mental health issues as problems that occur in my mind and compared it to other illnesses, it was like I woke up and actually found it humorous how we seem to create a personal connection to mental illness. Why don't we do this with having a cold or diabetes or any other illness?
This is my truth. Anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem and body shaming still visit my mind and take me down for a bit but they don't stay anymore. I have learned that these issues are not me, they don't belong to me. It is something that can happen, just like that cold or headache that comes on. There is no need to develop a relationship with it and personalize the sickness. I allow it to come in and send me whatever lessson it is I need to learn and then do whatever I need to do to heal.
The shame is gone now and that's only because I decided it was time to open up and share my struggles honestly. It isn't easy but nothing worth doing ever is. Speak up my friends, it will set you free.
With Light and Love,
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